The more we grow up, the less capable we are to allow someone into our close people circle. Unarguably exposing the truer sides of ourselves to someone is one super hard mission because exposing our anxious, worried, hesitant self ain’t easy. Nor our dark side. Nor the mood swings that hit us so hard and get us grumpy out of no where. Nor the fact that our heart beats so fast on doing things that seems too normal and non scary to other people. Neither the fact that it irritates the hell out of us on someone touching our hair. Nor them dumb insecurities that we’re so sad to have and so shy to tell about.
Neither this thing that crossed your mind right now, nor that insecurity that gives you nightmares.
Nothing outta all of this is easy.
The friend you made at 13 took you way less effort than the one you made at 18 and way way less effort than at 22 and will stay many ways easier than the one you’ll make at 25.
The more we grow up, all those things grow with us, in return we need someone who’d understand or at least attempt to.
I miss the days when we were empty and simple with almost nothing to open up about, when the only secret shared on school days was our crush names.
I miss the simplicity of me being a 15 years old with no self-forcing to do anything, with no insecurities, with no heart breaks, with no disappointments, with no further dimensions. Just a person who happens to live their day happily and routinely.
And this is just a mere rant.