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Murphy's Laws.



Murphy's General Laws


  • Nothing is as easy as it looks.

  • Everything takes longer than you think.

  • Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

  • If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

  • If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

  • If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

  • Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

  • Mother nature is a bitch.

  • It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

  • Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

  • The Light at the end of the tunnel is only the light of an oncoming train.


Murphy's Military Laws


  • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

  • No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

  • Friendly fire ain't.

  • The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

  • The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it .

  • The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

  • The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

  • Incoming fire has the right of way.

  • If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

  • The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

  • If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

  • The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

  • There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

  • Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

  • If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.


Murphy's Technology Laws


  • You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

  • Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

  • Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

  • Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

  • If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

  • The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

  • The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.

  • An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

  • Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

  • All great discoveries are made by mistake.

  • Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.

  • Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

  • All's well that ends.

  • A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

  • The first myth of management is that it exists.

  • A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.

  • New systems generate new problems.

  • To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

  • We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.

  • Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

  • Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

  • A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.